You are not sick, you are Single....


Why do our cultures seems to be so uncomfortable with singlehood. And the interesting thing is that the bible does not seem to condemn it on the contrarily it somewhat encourages singlehood Jesus past thirty years old was still single Matt 19:11-12. Paul says that marriage is difficult and he would rather spare us all the everyday troubles of married people. 1 Cor 7:8 “I say that it would be better for you to continue to live alone as I do but if you cannot restrain your desires go ahead and marry it is better to marry than to burn with passion”

Singlehood is not that bad you get to do the things you enjoy and do them at your own pace, you make your own rules, and you do not need to consult with someone who does not even share your vision or cannot see what you see about a project. You do not have to cook if you do not want to or feel like. If you have a day off to rest you can sleep in without the guilty feeling that you maybe neglecting someone. You make your rules and you can choose to follow them or break them. You get to choose who to allow in your life and how far they can go.

The down side according to the married is that you cannot enjoy legal sex, this is sex that comes with legally or culturally getting married, and it is where the public allows a couple to have sex. For example when people are getting married especially in the Kikuyu culture the girl is given a bed. Well, there are many interpretations to the idea of giving a bed, the common one, and which is not openly discussed but it is performed by women mostly, is that the public is allowing you to have sex. You decode this, from the advice given when they are receiving the bed, when they are told to make the bed and even sit on it, the ululations when the women are covering them with the blankets, the logical conclusion is that we are giving you permission to have sex now.

My message for singles is to be content with your status there is no need of marrying someone so that you can make your community happy. Just wait for the Lord’s time which is the best because he is going to give you the right partner but, meanwhile before that day comes and we give you a bed, enjoy your own company Eccl 12:1 “so remember your creator while you are still young, before those dismal days and years come when you will say, I don’t enjoy life…” know yourself, let God deal with the immature you, so that he can mould you first and prepare you for your partner.

Marry for you. Not for your community or society or your family members remember it is not them who will be staying with your choice but you.

There is nothing wrong with you. You are not sick, you are just single.

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